November 15, 2024 by Fred Colby
O.K. Roll your eyes! I was roped into watching the new Golden Bachelorette television series. My expectations were low after watching the initial Golden Bachelor series with its sometimes-uncomfortable competition between the women contestants, and the implosion of the resulting marriage. However, I was pleasantly surprised as these bachelors offered… Read More
November 2, 2024 by Fred Colby
Living a good life in today’s world is no small accomplishment. It is easy to succumb to anger and stress given the many challenges in our everyday lives, and so often others are trying to amplify those negative feelings so they can sell “their” solution to us. Unfortunately, we cannot… Read More
October 18, 2024 by Fred Colby
On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way. For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”… Read More
October 4, 2024 by Fred Colby
If you were a caregiver for your wife for an extended time, there is a good chance that you experienced anticipatory grief. Expectation of imminent death can be both a blessing and a curse. Our aversion to admitting that she will die may cause us to avoid contemplating what the… Read More
September 20, 2024 by Fred Colby
When our wives die, we often lose the one person who loved us: • Unreservedly, • no matter what idiotic things we did, • despite our failings, our weaknesses, and our bad habits, and • even though we may have failed them at times. Read More
September 5, 2024 by Fred Colby
It is easy during the first year or so after your wife’s passing to become so immersed in your own grief that you ignore the grief others are feeling. Let’s face it, during this time our grief is overwhelming! It often blocks out everything else so that we are unaware… Read More
August 22, 2024 by Fred Colby
A year before my wife’s passing, she began to experience upsetting physical and mental conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors. Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything… Read More
August 12, 2024 by Fred Colby
Suppose we do enter into a new and meaningful relationship with someone. In that case, the inevitable question that may emerge is whether you should get married, move in together, stay single, or try Living Apart Together (LAT). Not long ago (think grandparents) social norms limited the choices to… Read More
July 26, 2024 by Fred Colby
Friends and family are often afraid to speak with a new widower… and with good reason as we are frequently emotionally traumatized after losing our wives The following summarizes advice I shared during some recent radio interviews. Share this with others to help… Read More
July 12, 2024 by Fred Colby
Earlier this year a therapist and doctoral student, who works with Couples in Conflict Management, contacted me with questions she encountered in conversations with women dating widowers. These questions deal with the challenges faced by a woman trying to understand a widower’s ongoing relationship with his deceased wife. This is… Read More
