What do Gervais, Backman, Hanks, and Gerry Turner have in common?

By Fred Colby on August 10, 2023

All four of these men are bringing increased attention to widowers and the many issues we face after losing our wives.

• Ricky Gervais’ popular “After Life” Netflix series dug deep into the painful side of what a new widower faces after losing his wife.
• Tom Hanks brought Fredrik Backman’s “A Man Called Otto” (a story of a widower’s journey from grief to engaging with life again) to the big screen.
• Gerry Turner is the object of attention for millions of women over the age of 55 as he becomes the first “Golden Bachelor” in the new ABC series starting this Fall.

There is an upsurge in interest in widowers and their grief journeys due to these four men who have brought open and frank discussions of the topic to the forefront. We believe this will help break down barriers for many widowers and those who love them. More widowers, family members, and close friends will hopefully be more open to looking for support and answers for themselves or their loved ones.

During the past decade, others have contributed to increasing awareness of the many unique issues facing widowers. They devoted a significant portion of their lives to helping thousands of their fellow widowers, and to educating the broader community about the challenges we encounter. These include:

• Herb Knoll, founder and director of the Widowers Support Network (WSN) which offers effective mutual peer support of widowers. Herb also wrote The Widower’s Journey, a leading book on the topic. His website features hundreds of blogs, podcasts, and resources to help those searching for answers.
• Sam Feldman founded the National Widower’s Organization (NWO) in 2009 as a 501c3 nonprofit, which is now led by an active Board of Directors. NWO offers clear explanations about what to expect along with blogs, videos, podcasts, and many resources to help widowers.
• Fred Colby’s Widower to Widower offers a candid and comprehensive look at the widower’s experience. Since 2016 Colby’s website (fredcolby.com) has provided hundreds of free blogs, mini-podcasts, and resources to support widowers.

There are now many others who are contributing to this cause through counseling, online support, financial advice, articles, support for widower parents, and more. These include:

• CAKE
• COPE Foundation
• Grief Journey
• Man Therapy
• Men’s Grief Network
• Modern Loss
• My Grief Angels
• Online Grief Support
• Open to Hope
• Soaring Spirits
• Wings for Widow

We applaud the contributions made by Tom Hanks, Fredrik Backman, and Ricky Gervais by bringing thoughtful treatment to this topic. They have increased awareness of the challenges we widowers face, and this can only help to encourage more widowers to seek and accept help when they need it most.

As to The Golden Bachelor and its first-season star, Gerry Turner, we hope that the increased awareness brought by this show will be more positive than negative. It certainly will attract attention to the topic and could lead to many interesting discussions and hopefully, illuminations as well.
We as widowers have an opportunity during this period of increased awareness to build on it and to encourage others to talk more openly about our challenges, our growth during this process, and our successes in moving forward in engaging with life again.

Below are some books our readers might consider:

Fiction:
A Man Called Otto (original title: A Man Called Ove) by Fredrick Backman
And Every Morning The Way Home Gets Longer by Fredrik Backman
The Widower’s Tale by Julia Glass
How to Talk to a Widower: A Novel by Jonathan Tropper

Non-fiction:
A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
Dating a Widower by Abel Keogh
The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers by Abel Keogh
The Widower’s Journey by Herb Knoll
Widower to Widower by Fred Colby

© Copyright 2023 Fred Colby
All rights reserved

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