How will you know when you’re ready to start dating?
From November 27, 2018
Christine Baumgartner, a widow and professional dating and relationship coach provides an ongoing blog addressing the needs of widowers and their families as they try to adjust to the challenges of entering new relationships. Visit her blog at ThePerfectCatch.com and and read her bio here.
Are you ready to start dating?
It’s very important to take your time while grieving. Ultimately, no one else can tell you when you’re ready to date. There isn’t anything linear about grieving… everyone goes at their own pace. It’s a challenging journey filled with lots of ups and downs, stops and starts, and movement forward and backwards.
Before we explore dating readiness, I’d like to talk a little about how “stuckness” can show up during grieving. Because we can’t always see what’s going on in our own life (especially during this hardest of journeys), we might not even know if we’ve become “stuck”. Here are some signs:
- It’s been over a year and you find yourself (still) not doing things with your friends or your family.
- You haven’t gone back to your former hobbies or interests, and haven’t picked up new ones either.
- Your energy and desire to have fun and enjoy parts of your life just isn’t there.
If you’re experiencing one or more of these, I strongly suggest you talk to your doctor about your lack of interest in things you used to enjoy. Get their opinion on how you might find some additional help.
Now, on to the subject of dating.
You’re ready to start meeting women and maybe start dating, if you:
- are interested in spending time with women other than your friends and family.
- find your natural feelings of wanting to protect and provide for a woman are coming back.
- realize (or remember) that your heart still has love to give and wants to receive love as well.
- decide you don’t want to be without a romantic relationship for the rest of your life.
- start noticing women in your day-to-day life.
In my own life – as my grief fog started to lift (during the second year) – I began missing the company of men. I’m curious where you are in your journey. Are you noticing any of the 5 “signs” above? Or maybe you’re experiencing something entirely different?
If you are ready to begin meeting women and consider dating, you’ll be interested in my post next week where I’ll discuss some ways to meet women.
